So D.C. Is Cool

The Capitol building on the mall.

I’m writing from a motel room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, after a rather harrowing 9-hour drive from Bethesda this morning. I’m still kind of in shock from the ride, but I want to put up something about my two whirlwind days in the nation’s capital (area).

First of all, they were awesome. Fantastic beginning to the trip. I can’t believe how much I packed into two days. I got to catch up with several friends, see national landmarks, eat yummy kosher food and have tons of those new experiences I keep going on about.

I drove down on Monday. Waze said it would be a 4.5 drive and that’s exactly how long it took. It was totally uneventful, but the sense of being on my way was powerful. I guess because I tend to be lazy, I had been a bit worried that this would never actually happen (even as I made all my plans) but as I filled up my gas tank and drove off, there was a palpable feeling of contentment and adventure. It was really happening!!

The truth is, I had started the day in a weird mood. I’d been trying really hard to find a Shabbat host for this upcoming weekend in Charleston through the website Shabbat.com, which is garbage by the way. I guess that’s not fair, I’m sure some people find it useful, but not one single person I reached out to - I must have sent message requests and hosting requests to about 10 different families throughout the region - responded positively. Most just ignored my messages. The ones that did respond wrote something like, “We can’t host this week” or “we’re full”. When I got in touch with the hospitality coordinator of a shul in Charleston her response was basically that I was asking too last minute (this was Sunday night by the way) and worst case, I could “order catering from them” and eat alone at my hotel.

I mean, I’m not going to go into the whole rant, because I already wrote about it for three pages in my journal and vented to every person who would listen about how disgusted I am with American Jews, Southern Jews, Jews in general, and how disappointing and gross I find these responses. No one was welcoming - I think maybe one person apologized for not being able to host, but no one else did - no one suggested other alternatives - no one, in short, was willing to do the least bit to help a fellow Jew sanctify the Sabbath in an unfamiliar place.

Different friends had different responses to this. Most people said that’s American Jews for ya and this wouldn’t happen in Israel. But I don’t know. To give credit where credit is due, the hospitality coordinator did get back to me saying she had been able to arrange lodging and meals for me, so even though her initial response was downright icy, she came through. So in the end, I do have plans, but only since this morning. Up until then I had no idea what I was going to do for Shabbat. I didn’t let it stress me, because I knew something would work out in whatever way it was supposed to, but I was MAJORLY turned off by the responses of the people I approached. I’m curious to see how it translates when I’m actually there in person - if I feel welcomed or if the community is just insular and closed. But that’s a blog post for another day.

Anyway - so I had started Monday off feeling weird, but when I got on the road, that slowly evaporated. And by the time I got to Bethesda I was excited. I stayed with my friend Michelle, her 6-year-old son, and her fiance Steve at their apartment. Now this was a kid at whose birth I had actually been present, so it was awesome to see him grown into a full-fledged boy after so many years. We chatted, caught up, I explained to them the rationale behind my trip, i.e., freaking out and needing a massive life change.

Interestingly, they noted that most of the people they knew (including themselves) had had some kind of cataclysmic life event happen around the age of 30 that led them in some totally crazy but ultimately healthy direction. Apparently I’m not the only one with the thirty-year itch.

After a delicious dinner of fresh, hot fried chicken at a kosher “restaurant” called Max’s, which revived me after my day of scrounging around the car for whatever snacks were within reach, Steve took us on a nighttime driving tour of D.C. to see all the monuments lit up - really beautiful. I tried to capture some images for Instagram, but did you know it’s hard to take pictures from a moving car?

The Washington Monument as seen from a moving car at night.

Then yesterday (seriously? Yesterday? I feel like I’ve lived through about a week after my drive today) I went into D.C. again with my good friend from Israel, SL. She happened to be here in her hometown after a very tragic family emergency brought her back for a few weeks. We decided to check out some of the Smithsonian museums (which are free!), starting with Air and Space, which we both found extremely nostalgic. I think I was last there on a middle school trip. I still remember the chalky taste of that shitty astronaut ice cream.

After that we checked out the Museum of American History. My favorite exhibit was one showcasing the First Ladies’ dresses, as well as their White House china. We had a super embarrassing “divisive” moment there when we saw an enormous poster of Trump and Melania in their inauguration outfits and I went, very audibly, “Eughh,” before realizing that a girl was posing for a picture in front of it. But then she said, “I know, totally, it’s for my dad,” and pointed at the guy taking the photo, who was clearly a Trump fan, and who looked, um, uncomfortable. And SL and I cracked up and ran into a corner to laugh, where we discovered some really lovely White House artifacts from the time of Abraham Lincoln, so, you know, it ended well.

It’s an interesting dynamic now. All of Washington is splendid, majestic, giving so much homage to the office of the president, and now it’s like everyone is trying to figure out how to pretend that our current president hasn’t destroyed the entire institution by being an incoherent buffoon. I saw some evidence of that in the museums - it was clear they were all struggling to strike the right tone and balance for Trump, because he can’t really be treated like the others. I mean, the fact that he holds the same office as Abraham Lincoln, that the two men are classed in the same category, is a horror beyond the scope of this blog. It has been better expressed elsewhere. But the point is that now all of these venerable museums and institutions have to somehow find a place for the Orange One in the presidential canon and it’s awkward to watch.

After the history museum we decided to change tacks and went to the Hirshhorn Museum of modern art. For sure my favorite of the three. Though the museum was in the midst of hanging a new exhibit and it was kind of a mess, with boxes and construction stuff everywhere, there were several amazing exhibits and a few stellar pieces that really resonated with us both. In particular I really enjoyed the Utopian Projects, by Ilya and Emilia Kabakov, a collection of fantastical, surrealist sculpture (they were models, many never really built) based around the idea of reaching a utopian state. They were thought-provoking and many of them really stunning. But for sure my favorite piece was Ann Hamilton’s At Hand, which was basically a room filled with crumpled blank paper that you could play in. Hydraulic machines occasionally floated new sheets of paper down from the ceiling and a voice recording was playing. We waded right in and enjoyed the hell out of that. Something about the piece was incredibly soothing, therapeutic almost. I lay on the floor for a few minutes just feeling supported by the drifts of paper and watching fresh sheets float down. I can’t really explain what it meant to me, or what it represented in terms of artistic message, but it definitely spoke to me, and to SL too. We just felt totally blissed out and calmly happy after that experience. So I recommend that museum.

The "At Hand" exhibit.

Later, I went to the National Portrait Gallery on my own and wandered around for a half an hour or so. They also had a very cool presidential exhibit. Then I asked a guard (there were so many) where the painting of Stephen Colbert was, and he didn’t know what I was talking about, so I googled it and found out it had been removed two years ago. Sigh.

In general, everyone in D.C. was so freaking nice. Even the drivers are just more polite. I first noticed it when I entered the greater metropolitan area while driving in and cars coming down entrance ramps onto the highway would just kind of stop instead of, I don’t know, merging. They were just politely waiting! It was so weird. I saw one guy do it and thought, what the heck and then I saw several others doing the same thing. And it’s a trend. In D.C. no one drives aggressively. The city is just a super calm, chilled out place compared to New York, which is terrifying and where I have never driven and I hope I never will. The streets are really wide, and people drive like they’re in the suburbs. It’s crazy. And everyone is nice. It’s so WEIRD! I mean, I came home from Israel and thought, omg, everyone here [in New York] is so nice compared to Israelis. And D.C. people are much nicer even than New York people (this probably doesn’t surprise most readers). I feel like by the time I hit Savannah, I’ll just be overwhelmed by the niceness and I’ll start yearning for someone to be an asshole to me.

After the Portrait Gallery, I suavely took the metro two stops to meet my friend Randy. I learned that I can navigate anywhere as long as I have Google Maps. I noticed another strange D.C. “nice” phenomenon: all the passengers who took seats sat in the inner of the two seats, so that other riders could easily sit on the outside. Every single person (except me, obviously) did that. Because everyone is so polite and it would be rude to inconvenience people by making them have to ask to sit down (which I did, because I’m clearly not a nice Districtonian.) I mean, I was only going two stops! But I still felt kind of bad. But not that bad, because I am from New York.

Randy and I had a lovely reunion. We hadn’t seen each other since he attended my pre-aliyah Bon Voyage party in 2011, so our meeting was understandably filled with lots of questions and Israel bashing (mostly on my part) to explain why I had left. Listen, it’s complicated. Yes, there are good things about Israel, blah blah blah, but it also sucks your soul dry. Etc.

I think it’s too soon for me to talk about Israel. Maybe one day I’ll be ready.

Anyway, the burgers at Char Bar were delish. After that we tried the Watergate rooftop bar, but it was closed, so we went to the Kennedy Center instead, which has fantastic views of Washington and the surrounding cities. Randy gave me a great mini-tour filled with fascinating tidbits and stories, and then we tried to peek in to see the show that was going on, but the usheress was a dragon.

Then I was supposed to go meet Steve at a party across town. Randy and I sat in the lobby of the Kennedy Center trying to download Uber and Lyft onto my phone so I could get there, but Uber flat out didn’t work because my info got messed up because of my stupid Israeli number and Lyft freaked me out with a test charge, and the whole process was frustrating and really annoying and just a major fail. Eventually Randy kindly ordered me an Uber on his account, but it was an UberPool, which means the driver picks up and drops off others on the way, and long story short the party ended before I arrived. So the lesson I learned from that is I hate Uber. It was actually my very first Uber experience. The app was developed while I was in Israel, and I never had any call to use it when I was visiting here, so I had never taken one. I was looking forward to it (a new experience, after all). But now I’m just embittered.

It was still overall a great day. There were moments during it when I was really, actively conscious of the fact that - I’m living. I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do. I’m out in the world, I’m experiencing newness, I’m drinking in life, color, art, action, culture, a FEAST for my soul. I’m alive - I’m in the moment of being alive - I’m aware that life is happening right now. They were these little rare moments of just - completion. Of wholeness, of intention pairing with action, of what should be happening IS happening, and I’m in it.

Which is the whole point!

So yes, my two days in D.C. were rich with experiences, with fun and adventure. Now I’m on to the next part of my journey, which I have a feeling will be very different. D.C. was filled with friends and companionship, but for the rest of my trip, I’ll be mostly on my own. I don’t have anyone else to meet up with until I get to Florida. So now we find out how I travel alone.

Today was rough, I won’t lie. It’s (hopefully) my only full driving day. The rest of my drives, as scheduled, are all four hours or shorter, though of course I may have to make adjustments. But I really don’t want another day like today. I drove 500 miles and was in the car for 9 hours. It was raining most of the time, and full dark by the time I got to this motel. You know the concept of highway hypnosis? Yeah, that did not happen to me. I was fully, totally aware of every single moment I was driving today. And my jaw actually feels tight as a result! I was concentrating so hard that my whole body tensed up.

The driving itself was mostly okay. Coming out of D.C. was bad, because that’s when it started raining, hard, and the thing with driving in the rain is that every other car kicks up this trailwind of mist, and when you’re surrounded by cars, you can’t see a thing in it. That was definitely stressful. Once I got on the interstate and traffic thinned out - a little - it was better, but I learned that being passed by a truck on the highway while it’s raining is a rather unnerving experience. You just get inundated with water and the air displaced by the truck blows back and hits the car.

So I mostly passed the trucks instead. I think I must have passed at least 100 trucks today, though admittedly some of them were probably repeats. I adopted different driving techniques depending on the weather and on my mood. Sometimes when I was just feeling complacent I let everyone pass me and drove along at the speed limit behind some other slow car or truck. Other times I sped up and overtook every truck in sight. Sometimes I stayed in the right lane to shotgun past a whole caravan of trucks at once, other times I went meekly back into the left lane after every pass.

It rained almost all day. About an hour into the ride, my “check tire pressure” light went off, and shortly thereafter the “low fuel” light, so I went to get gas and check my tire pressure. Then I called my dad for advice. He advised me to put air in the tires. So then I had to drive out from under the nice dry overhang to the air hose, and figure out how to use that, and then check the psi again, and then screw the knobs back on, and then move the car and do the tires on the other side, and by the time I was done, I was absolutely soaked and freezing and also, the “check tire pressure” light was still on. I got off at the next exit and once more checked the tire pressure, but I couldn’t find anything wrong, so I just got back on the road. The light is still on, but I don’t care anymore.

The drive went on… and on… and on. Because of the above episode, I lost an hour. Originally my arrival time was 5:47, but it kept getting pushed back. Every time I stopped to pee, I lost another 5 minutes. What’s interesting is that Virginia (the state I was driving through for most of today) doesn’t actually have rest stops, like New York does, where there’s a big plaza with five different fast food restaurants and bathrooms and newsstands. Instead Virginia has “rest areas”, which are pretty much just bathrooms, and some picnic tables and vending machines. They’re great! I visited three, because of my bird bladder, and all three were clean and neat and fully stocked with all the amenities. All in all I stopped six times today.

Rest area on the I-81.

At some points it stopped raining, but around 5 it started again and it was really not good. It was getting dark, that infernal mist was everywhere, I could barely see. I thought about stopping earlier and getting a motel in some random town, but ultimately I decided to continue. Once the rain stopped, it was okay; nighttime driving is not my favorite, but without rain it was doable. The hours sloooowly ticked by, and then, finally, I got off the interstate and into this little area of cities including Gatlinberg and a few others. Of course I had to go through all the others to GET to Gatlinberg and the final few miles are through a pitch-black, winding forest which is part of the Smoky Mountains National Park (the proximity to which is why I chose this motel), and that was incredibly creepy and scary, so there was no way I was going back through that to visit any of the night life in the other cities (though the family-friendly comedy at the Laugh Barn really tempted me). I arrived at the motel at 7:20. There was a reservation mix-up, of course, and it’s actually more expensive, blah blah. Not sure if I’m going to stay another night here. It’s a typical motel, but a bit seedy. Maybe I’ll move to a place closer to the Laugh Barn.

Tomorrow is my hiking day. However, it’s going to be cold AF. I expected the temperatures to rise as I went south, but so far absolutely not. D.C. was absolutely frigid, and Tennessee is not much better. The weather forecast for the park tomorrow says it should be sunny, hallelujah, but with a high of 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Fun friendly reminder for anyone who has forgotten their elementary school science: 32 degrees Fahrenheit is the freezing point of water. And again, that is the HIGH.

Soooo… I think I may have totally misjudged the situation, and I’m not sure what I’m gonna do about it. I have warm enough clothes, and I had been planning to do a more intensive, longer hike - I mean, I drove all the way down here for God’s sake - but if it’s actually freezing, then that might not be so desirable. There’s a shorter hike which is also supposed to be nice, and I have a feeling I might end up doing that instead, though I might be disappointed if I do. I guess I’ll see how I feel when I step outside tomorrow.

TL;DR: Many fun! Much adventure!